Poupee de la Chine

I Saw The Sign!
And it opened up my eyes- I saw the sign!
Life is demanding, without understanding.

I love that song somehow.

So, I'm leaving for Boot Camp in 3 days. I got rid of a few people off my list because I very much dislike them for numerous reasons, you know who you are. I'm getting ready for a new lease on life!

Once I get back, I'm going to be a social butterfly (if I'm not, you know, dead or something). I'm sick of sticking to singular groups and HOPING they won't treat me like shit anymore. Nope. From now on, I'd rather have a ton of people I barely know I can consider simple friendships and NOT people I come to care about too much.

I am creating my own cosplay costumes now, as well as learning several languages (I can already speak some Japanese, French, Chinese, and Spanish), and I've decided what careers I want to go for while and after the military.

Life is starting to perk up, starting with Boot Camp! I'll become fitter, skinnier, and I'll be disciplined and ready to start my career and school! Look out world, I'm becoming a new me!


Do not own picture.

I am going to be taking a break from online anything. I want to work more on other interests, such as learning Japanese and concentrating more on working my body (as in exercises, you sickos. xD).

I want to start jogging in the morning at 6AM.

I want to be able to go to bed at 10 PM and not feel obligated to stay up later because of an odd guilt or an even stranger need for role play or email.

I don't want to feel like I'm addicted to being online anymore, as silly as that sounds.

I want to give my fingers some time to REST. They're starting to hurt. xD

I want to start learning how to draw. I have the talent, just none of the practice... >>

So, I'm taking a week off. After today, I will not be on again until after my upcoming, and hopefully last, military exam before boot camp. That exam is on the 20th, but depending on how long they take or how long they need me around, it may be the 21st or the 22cd when I get home.

Not saying too many people pay attention to my LiveJournal, of course, but for those few who do... I'm leaving a few pictures I had promised at the beginning of my new journal here to make up for my absence.

ENJOY THESE SEXY, SEXY PICTURES!!! I do not own any of these, BTW.

( Read more... )

I'll give more later. :3

ANY FRIENDS OR ANYONE WHO COMES ACROSS THIS, PLEASE READ.

Something is seriously screwed up with LiveJournal. I can't read ANY of my messages or send any OR receive any in return. This is extremely bad, as I kind of need to talk to a few people AND I was awaiting some very important messages from my role play sites (in which one I am a moderator, so very much need to get my messages).

IS THIS HAPPENING TO ANYONE ELSE? And I tried talking to the LiveJournal staff, they either ignored me or they didn't get my messages either.

CAN ANYONE HELP?

http://alival13.livejournal.com/

This is the link to my new fanfiction journal, where extras, Lemons, and unedited mature chapters are being put up.

Besides that, I seem to be having a lot of trouble with my pictures that I don't have trouble with on my other journals. >> I don't get it. I even thought I had fixed it for a time, but they're going blank again...

Or maybe they only appear blank to me? Can anyone else see them?

Baby Shower on February 21st at Pizza Hut. Whoo hoo! :3

My friend is having her baby shower pretty soon, and I may even be around long enough to be able to see the baby before I go into Boot Camp.

I've been thinking about it to. The Records place is taking forever, then when I have no money I can't go get them. However, early next week, I'm going in myself. My excuse will be, and this is ENTIRELY true, that I had waited a WEEK for a phone call after they apparently found my records and it's taking forever for them to be sent back.

I'm pretty sure they didn't find my records at all. In fact, I think they're stalling for time.

Anyway, so the soonest- possibly- for me to go into Boot Camp would be March. That rather sucks because my Birthday is in April, and March is also when her baby comes. I don't wanna stay that long here, this place SUCKS. But I also don't feel like being miserable on my birthday (as selfish and childish as that is). Plus, I wouldn't mind being able to see the baby. I am, apparently, its god mother. Or I think I still am.

My step mother is PSYCHOTIC. And not good crazy, or me crazy... More like needs to be put into a mental institution so she can be monitored. I'm not even angry at her, believe it or not. She just needs some serious help before she honestly hurts someone. She's lucky I didn't call the police on her last time.

I'm pretty sure that if she continues to escalate, she will stab me and my father in our sleep. And I mean it.

So, yeah. Really don't want to stick around for that. But I can't get any jobs that would allow me to get an apartment of any kind, no friends to temporarily move in with, and then there's the fact that if I wait longer then March, it's gonna be HELL ON EARTH in Boot Camp. I don't wanna be freezing, but I'd rather not die of heat stroke and deal with 24/7 sunburns.

It's gonna suck if the day i leave for Boot Camp her baby is born. But alas, I do need to get Boot Camp over with already.

Bah. Is it me or am I growing more juvenile every post?

Today I was sitting alone at my desk, thinking about the way the world works. Not so much how it turns or how life seems to be oh-so-unfair, but more along the lines of something more trivial.

Crime dramas. I have yet to see anything on the FBI, yet the FBI is in every possible series as some sort of enemy. Why don't the FBI have a show? Or even the FCC? That might actually be funny to watch.

Anyway, besides television matters, I also had to wonder about the science of people. What causes a person to fly off the deep end, reveal secrets that should stay hidden, and have such a nice day, yet be so emotional and angry at home? I suppose, as I am a rather strange case, that I cannot and should not compare my life to another in this particular form of thought.

As I am one who is in need of some serious medication. Or maybe everyone else needs to chill? Hmm. I suppose it's how you look at it.

I've come to rediscover recently that I have regained a fondness for tomato soup. Why is this good? How did it come to be? Well, my father was kind enough to give me some cans of it, as I am a very poor, pathetic thing who will not be able to afford groceries until the week's end. It was either refuse and starve, or hope it's half-way edible for me.

And it was! Oh lo' and behold, it was delicious. Like liquid ketchup. <3

I can hide under my bed, but the dust would just make me disgruntled.

I could eat away my stresses, but then I'd hate myself for being fat.

I would have exercised, but it makes me angry that I have such little room for it.

I might have killed myself, but it pisses me off to know no one would remember me.

Fury finds me everywhere, in everything I do.

The demon no one can control, it does more then just consume.

It spits, it scratches, it burns, it bites...

Find me Fury, because without you, I am not alive.

Mmrph... It seems I am absolutely horrible at finding decent role plays.

Believe me, I truly want to find news friends and places to have a little fun... But it grows hard. Maybe it is easier then I make it seem to myself? I do enjoy a good bout of inner-struggle when it comes to the simplest matters...

Actually, scratch that. I don't. It just comes to me so naturally that I'm pretty much used to its monotone call of evil. Damn you self pity!

And what's worse is that the irritating troubles of day-to-day life have left me with little time on my hands, despite usually having nothing to do.

How does this make sense? Well, I'll explain.

You know that horrible feeling of stress? And how sometimes it just will not slow down, even when you try to relax? Like an odd burning that moves from your heart to your stomach, even to your feet and back, and just doesn't seem to want to go away?

That's me. Right now. At this moment. I am feeling impatient and my eyes won't stay still and let me read anything, things I need to know if I want to join know role play communities. How I'm writing is a mystery, I just hope I don't typo too often...

Ugh. I am a complete and utter mess... Oh dear, I'm not even writing like myself!

These are words I find oddly sexy. O.o I'll add more later on to it. :3

Consequences.
Allow me to define what this is.
It is the effect of an action.
It means that you're either in huge huge trouble, or about to dipped in pleasure- and everything in between.
Consequences are not always bad.
Consequences can mean to take on the responsibility of having a pet after begging for it so long, or to clean up a mess after an experimental cooking gone wrong.
So many things at once, but I find this sexy because of the idea of a consequence as beautiful as taking on a long awaited lover.
To take the responsibility of holding their heart in your hands and giving their body and mind the happines you promised.
So few people have the ability to handle consequences.

Flesh.
Another term for skin and muscle.
Meat.
I find this word particularly sexy because every time I read it off of something, I imagine it being said the way a sexy vampire lord might pronounce it.
An odd 'ch' noise instead of a 'sh' noise at the end of it.
Wet, moist, kissable, lickable, touchable, washable, tear it apart- so many things can be associated with the word... bad and good.
Flesh is a word that indicates sensuality and a certain badness.

Perfect.
To have no fault.
It is what most people search for.
Perfection comes in many shapes, sizes, and forms.
There is no true perfection, because it is the beholder who decides what perfect is.
Perfect could be a scar on your own body, a feather on a bird, or even the carving from a piece of wood.
It's most generalized product is what people seek from lovers.
Perfect is both searching for something that is non-existent, or simply falling inlove.
No one is perfect, yet everyone is at the same time.

You've just entered the vicinity of my personal LiveJournal. Not much to explore at the moment, but please enjoy yourself.

As a courtesy, please keep all insulting or improper comments to yourselves. It is a privilege to be allowed inside another person's journal/diary/territory freely. I could easily have everyone blocked and only allow friends to view, but I won't do that.

Inside this journal, you will find writing, animated, and pictorial images that are strictly rated M and above.

I am giving fair warning now for any parental guides or guardians that feel they must sue or destroy me because their child under age 18 (or whatever age they see appropriate) has come to my profile and seen what I've put up.

I hold no responsibility over a curious mind who has found me, nor do I hold responsibility should that mind create their own ideas.

Parents, handle your children.

And handling does not mean to blame me over something stupid. It means to realize what your child is up to and realize your child has their own mind and willingness that cannot be controlled so easily. So if they suddenly become questioning about their sex or why/how babies are born because of my journal, well, maybe you should have restricted their internet access a little better? Most of LiveJournal isn't a place for children anyway. Most of the internet isn't for that matter.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you do respect the boarders I have placed here.

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Feel free to comment as much as you wish, I always enjoy getting reviews. Also, if there are any pictures or poems anyone would like to share, please share them.

Thank you.